Depress~! Depress~! Depress~!

This sem modules seem dont like me alot... I having difficult being friends with them... lol~
so this is my 1st depression... The day before yesterday, I told my lady friend that I will tell the girl what I feel towards her. But things always not going as planned.

What I thought of is telling her after our GEMs lesson ended since both our classes are just beside each other... Usually my lesson ended earlier than hers but yesterday she ended earlier than me... So she went to a bench nearby my lady friend's GEMs class... I purposely went there and "pass by"... then telling her that I suppose to meet my friends at the library but they went off...

Sit down somewhere beside her, she starts to talk alot to me... this is something new to me as she seldom chat with me... think she get to know better with me so can chat more... I hope this will happen oftenly... but i always dont know what to say when talking to her... maybe i afraid that i have said something not right or whatever it is...

I wanted to tell her my feelings towards her but people were walking along the corridoor... cant said that out... plus a stupid guy seated opposite us eating his packet lunch... piss off sia... In the end, fail when my lady friend's lesson ended... This is the 2nd depression...

At night meeting toh toh for a hair cut at kenji there then go for dinner and walk walk aroud town area... we chat about each other relationship case... then while chating with him... I msg her to see if she's free today for a movie show but she said she was booked by her sister so I ask her abt tues and she replied that she booked her parents... so I can sense that she trying to avoid me... hai... this is last depression...

Then filled with depression, I went to watch movie "Death Note" with nic... went to west mall to catch the 11.50pm show... The movie cutted alot comparing to anime and comic... the plot is much different comparing anime and comic which is gd to have this... now need to wait for the part 2 to see how's the story going to end... I can feel that the ending will be much different than the anime and comic...

hope that she willing to come out with me alone some days sooner or later but MST and other stuffs are really near soon... I dont think there will be a chance to do that... maybe I should tell her my feelings for her when i have the chance to be with her alone... at least iIcan clear my heart if she dont want to accept it.... things around me have been too stressful... regardless of studies or my extra feeling... none of the doubt is cleared... is she my happiness???